This post is part of a ten-post series I’m sharing about the life and loss of our son, Afton. Click here to read more of Afton’s story.
A few days after we returned from the hospital, I received this letter from our NICU nurse, Megan. She was Afton’s primary nurse for the short time he got to be in little NICU room #44. We are forever grateful for this letter and even more so for the way she cared for our son.
Dear Afton,
I met your Dad first. He is full of kindness and was incredibly steady, he is your biggest cheerleader. His gratefulness for those caring for you was one of a kind.
I met your mom soon after when she came down to pump at your bedside after an emergency C-section, which is quite a feat. She sat in a wheelchair and pumped milk (impressive), she is incredibly strong, protective and nurturing.
Your oxygen levels were concerning me, so I opened your isolette to give a full assessment, and we met for the first time. As we problem-solved, gave you medications, took X-rays, and made changes to your ventilator, I changed your tiny diaper, I swabbed some breast milk in your mouth and you gave the sweetest little suck. I whispered, “you are strong, you are brave and you are so loved, now fight sweet boy.” And you did.
When your parents came back to your bedside to receive the hardest news, that your lungs were too premature and our efforts weren’t helping you become more stable, they wept and the pain was visible on their faces. Yet with eagerness, they sat to hold you for the very first time. The minute your body was against your momma’s chest, your oxygen saturations climbed higher than they had all night. You were telling us, this is where you were safest, this is where you wanted to be and you were fighting for these moments.
In all the chaos of giving medications, drawing labs, and many people hovering outside your room, there was a protective bubble of love that held just the three of you.
Your heartbeat faded and we made footprints of your long feet, and handprints of your perfect hands. I loved admiring your button nose. Then your parents bathed you for the first time, it was a moment filled with gentleness and love. They admired everything about you. Your mom put you in a new diaper and swaddled you up. You were kissed, sung to, read to and infinitely loved.
Your life, though brief sweet Afton, changed mine. I will always remember you.
Your nurse,
Megan
Thank you, Megan. You were just who we needed. 💙🌈
PS. Is he not the cutest lil one pounder? HIS NOSE. 😍
God bless Megan (and nurses all over) for her kindness and warmth to you all and especially for her lovely letter.
God bless nurses… and mothers everywhere, of every kind. xoxo
💙
I’m so very sorry for you and your husband’s loss. I am keeping you both in my thoughts.
All the love to you guys and nurse Megan who is so obviously amazing at her job. <3
What a wonderful nurse to have shared in your sweet Afton. I agree, his nose is perfection. Praying for you and grieving with you from Tulsa, Oklahoma.
Wow, reading this incredibly sweet letter, from the nurse, Megan brings tears to my eyes. It is filled with such raw truth and great LOVE. Lindsay, you and Bjork are so kind and brave to share Aftons’ story. Though his presence, on earth , was so brief, the reality of his precious life will live on forever. In our hearts ~~~and Especially in your hearts. What an adorable baby boy xo God Bless you in ways you have never, before, imagined. Sent with such care for you guys with Hugs.
Megan’s words are so powerful and must be very life affirming, to know your little one felt your presence. A blessing for sure amid your sorrow.
I have very special reasons for my love and admiration of nurses and Megan is definitely up there with the very best of them, bless her. Her words are so sweet …a love letter to your son whose perfect nose is identical to his mamma’s. I have to admit I cried buckets while reading her letter. May God côntinue to bless you both and your beloved son, Afton.
This makes me so happy – I am obsessed with his tiny nose and I am proud that you think he got it from me! 😌
Just read Megan’s letter….the tears just won’t stop.
Continuing to lift you up in prayer many many times a day. XOXO
A gifted nurse who obviously is in her field because of the outpouring love she has given to you. What a treasure! My heart still aches for your loss of a beautiful child, gone too quickly, for reasons we can’t fully comprehend. You and your husband are blessed. Much love is sent!
Oh my goodness…crying buckets here. Megan is an angel on Earth…when I had my miscarriage, they didn’t have any room for me at the hospital outside of the maternity wing. The nurse that took care of me was so kind, attentive and went above and beyond to help me get through a very difficult situation – I could hear the other babies crying and happy families coming and going all day long. I swore that if I ever had a daughter, I would name her after my sweet nurse, which I did. My heart aches for you and Bjork and I pray for you every day – your love for Afton is overwhelming.
Being able to hear the other babies… agh. It’s so raw. I’m so sorry Karen. Thank you for sharing your story – and how beautiful that you named your daughter after her. My heart. ❤️
What a beautiful letter. How brave you and your husband were, and are. I have to admit to feeling heartbroken.
Lindsay and Bjork, Thank you for sharing Megan’s wonderful letter and this very personal part of your journey with your precious son, Afton. Just beautiful… Love and prayers
There should be more nurses like Megan. The world is a much better place because of people like her.
Lovely letter! How much love this little boy brought to so many lives 💕
Lindsay,
I am new to your blog -as of about 2 weeks ago. My friend Susie was absolutely raving about your Masala Paste (and therefore) Masala Sauce recipe. I immediately added the ingredients to my grocery list (as well as the ingredients for your Meatless Meatballs).
My husband and I will be eating leftovers tonight because we absolutely loved it! My husband even liked the meatballs better than eating the sauce with chicken-which is saying A LOT, coming from a such a meat-eating man.
I just wanted to say how sorry I am for the loss of your sweet Afton. I cannot begin to imagine what you’re going through and I am praying for you and Bjork. I am really enjoying this ten-post series, though if you wanted to add a few more, I’d be happy to read them. Your writing is just beautiful.
And, what a gem Megan is! So special.
Thank you Lori – I really appreciate that. It’s so comforting to know that people are interested in Afton’s short story. 💙 And I’m glad you love the masala sauce. 🙂
Lindsay & Bjork, the nurses in the NICU units of any hospital are amazing angels. My granddaughter was born prematurely and the nurses (both women and men) who took care of her were amazing and so patient with us as we peppered them with a million and one questions every time we came for a visit. No matter how busy they were, they always took the time to talk with us and calm us if we were upset. They are truly amazing. God bless you all during this difficult time.
No blog post has ever made me cry like this before. Thank you for sharing, and what a beautiful letter from this special nurse,
What an absolutely lovely letter. Such a kind gesture from this wonderful nurse, and shows the love you both have for your sweet boy. Many thoughts for you all of love 💗.
Lindsay, my husband follows your blog, always on the look out for new, delicious recipes. He told me you were pregnant, about a week ahead of me…and then he started sharing Afton’s story with me. You and Bjork are so very strong. We sat and looked at the pictures for a while, while my heart fell to the floor. I feel so invested in Afton’s story and, while, every new story brings me to tears, I am so thankful to read them. I feel like I know him, and you guys. The positive outlook you share on life makes me warm inside. May God’s grace cover you and help you heal. May you find peace in one another. Thank you so very much for sharing these stories with us. I’ll never forget them, they have etched a sweet little spot in my heart. Thank you.
Thank you Jessica, that means a lot. Wishing you all the best with your new baby in May. 💙
Lindsay, I’ve been crying my way through your story. I am so incredibly sorry for your loss. I too have lost a son, and I wish I could give you a hug. Our loss was in April 2016 at 38 weeks pregnant and not a day or an hour goes by that I don’t ache for my son. I wish I had the words to fix your pain, but sadly I don’t. Your sweet Afton would be so proud of your strength and your ability to share your story. Be gentle on yourself. Sending you and your husband much love.
Thank you Michelle. So much love to you and your sweet boy.
God bless this nurses and all of the nurses who care for premature babies. Their jobs must be so difficult, yet so rewarding. What a beautiful letter nurse Megan wrote, and what a treasure to keep. Blessings to all of you.
What a blessing to have such a kind, compassionate nurse for your sweet Afton. Keeping you both in my prayers.
Your story has touched me in so many ways. God put Megan in your lives just when you needed her most. I was a NICU nurse and as much as you appreciate her, we appreciate and love parents like you and feel the depth of your pain. So many people will carry Afton in their hearts and lift and support you both. I know it has been both difficult and healing to share but through your story, you and your son have touched many lives. God bless you.
He is beautiful, fearfully and wonderfully made❤ Continuing to lift you both in my prayers.